HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONATHAN!!!

Today is our son, Jonathan's 11th Birthday. I remember it well. We lived in Wellington, Florida and it was a dark rainy night. My Mom made me chicken paprikash for dinner. Our good friend Bert said that "You;ll have that baby shortly after you eat your favorite meal." Unbelievably.... it happened. I had contractions starting about 9pm and left for the hospital at around 9:45. Bert came to watch the other two boys for us. Jonathan was born quickly, around 11:30pm. I promised myself that he wouldnt be born on Halloween and I kept that promise. We were now parents to three beautiful boys! Just a little guy with black hair and brown eyes. I was so suprised that he was so much smaller than our other two boys.
Jonathan brought Mike and I so much joy. He was not a lot of trouble as he slept well and ate well and smiled all the time. To this day (11 years later) he still smiles a lot. Aunt Barb calls him her Jonny Angel... I call him my little Sunfish, and he likes that knickname. With all my love to Jonathan, Happy Birthday, baby!

AN ACT OF KINDNESS

My very good friend, Annette has the biggest heart... Always, in her thoughts are the happiness of others. For example, we were shopping at the Flower Factory last week and she spotted some pot holders, towels and such and decided to get them for 2 hostess gifts for parties she would be attending this weekend. Needless to say this is a common occurance when it comes to Annette. She loves to spread the cheer and her thoughtfulness is so well taken that it makes others want to do the same. I love to give little gifts also but I usually do it for holiday parties and it is usually a small handmade gift of my heart.

Annette and I will be making hand crafted gifts for an open house at Gails house in early December. I am excited that we are crafty gals and we have fun doing it. Lots of love in the house.

So much to do

It is now 6pm and I am trying to tie things up with so many of my oddities that I am doing. Room mom stuff, football stuff, doctor stuff, telephone losing stuff, and crafts that I am making to sell at a craft boutique this December. My friend Annette and I always have a lot of fun doing these crafts. Painting, collecting, glueing stuff to the kitchen table and floor. What a mess we can make. Lots and lots of stuff. Sometimes it gets to me and I dont want to do any more anymore. It gets to me mentally that i just want to finish projects and not have any more to do than the minimum. I would be a very good quaker or amish person with the simplistic lifestyle. I dont like a lot of stuff. You know STUFF, that gets in the way of doing what needs to be done. Like stuff that doesnt work and you need to keep it for sentimental reasons. Like stuff that piles up so you dont know what kind of stuff you actually have or want or need. Just get rid of it, somehow!!! Enough for now....

Brain Food

I need brain food.
Foggy mind
no sleep
limp as a rag doll
shar-pei puppy
pondering
slipped my mind
hope,faith & Excedrin
for the birds

THEN...FOOD FOR THE MIND
freckles of rust
pink-orange parfait of dawn
get it together woman
sonnets
out of the blue
passion for compassion
creative climb
to ephemera
dreaming
fill my void
quiet satisfaction
savor the moment
good things take some time
crafty chica
loads of laughs
hungry for more
pushing the envelope
enchanted
pay dirt
I BELIEVE...

My Sierra

Our precious cat Sierra has had a cold so to speak for the past week. Yesterday morning I let her in the house after being outside all night and she was coughing and looked very cold. All day I kept an eye on her and she wasnt getting any better. So by 11:30 last night she was in bad shape and I was worried. Off we went to the emergency hospital to be looked at. The vet said she looked pretty bad and gave her oxygen and took an ex-ray hoping to find the problem. Her airways were not blocked but there was a lot of gas in her intestinal tract. Poor thing, was in a lot of pain. The vet said she thinks that Sierra has Esophotitus. Inflamation of the esophogus. She was put on anti-inflamatory and something to take the gas away. I;m hoping she gets better very soon. She had a nice quiet nap with no coughing or hacking and got some well needed rest. I take her for a follow up visit with a new vet, St. Francis tomorrow. I'm praying for healing hands to bring her health back. Say a prayer for her too, please.

I Believe...

Yesterday afternoon I was waiting for the light to turn green. Just ahead off the road, there was a small puddle.It was occupied by several little brown birds~ probably some sort of sparrow & they were having a party in the puddle!!! It was amazing~ they spashed and danced and flitted their little wings all the while having a grand ole' time. It was just a glorious moment for me. Hard to believe that a few little seconds can change my life but it did.
~Heavenly~

FEED YOUR SOUL


"Strength does not come from physical capacity, it comes from indomitable will."
~Mahatma Gandhi
My strength is being challenged and I am winning. Yesterday was hard...today was better. Yesterday I had several things going on and didnt know what to think of any of it. Today I focused on things that needed to get done and I accomplished what I wanted. Yippee Skippee!
I am learning to honor myself and live my life with perspectives, priorities & relationships in order to both open and close the doors that present themselves to us. As we become better connected with ourselves, we might have more questions than answers, but if we listen carefully, the answers will come, along with a renewed sence of purpose and identity.
I am finding my passion.
I am focusing on my hearts desire without fear.
I am finding the sacred in everyday things, every day moments.
I appreciate life and every experience it has to offer.

student assist

STUDENT ASSIST


New in our school system is a new program called Student Assist. It is supposed to have all assignments, grades, attendance, GPA's that sort of stuff included by each teacher. Well, it isnt exactly as it is supposed to be. But what is?? I ask. In the future i hope it will be more completed by each teacher. As it is now, grades dont look so good since there is so many things missing. I am little by little each day trying to help my kids with their homework assignments. And it is working!!!

These Days

When the sky above me turns dark and full of clouds
and nothing, nothing turns out right
close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up
even the darkest night
You just call out my name
and you know wherever I am
ill come runnin' just to see you again.

Just thinking about my husband in Boston and wishin he was here with me.

I miss him so...

Things I want to do...

~own and work a farm
~learn to knit
~learn to throw clay pots
~know who I was in past lives
~chop wood, carry water
~be completely happy
~love my body
~visit another planet
~hang out in an irish pub
~have no regrets
~complete a triathalon
~be confident
~swim with the dolphins
~see the northern lights
~make love in the rain
~escape
~scuba dive
~become debt-free
~own a Harley with my husband and ride everywhere
~have fun
~go skinny dipping
~sleep under the stars
~live on the ocean in a houseboat
~visit the Redwood Forest
~eat healthier
~be understood
~stretch more
~learn something new every day
~learn to speak French fluently
~have Grandkids to play with
~help our Kids anyway I can
~win the lottery
~sit up straight
~open an animal shelter
~memorize 10 great quotes so I can always sound intelligent
~Make more friends
~take a road trip with friends
~learn to kayak
~go to art school
~learn metalworking and make art
~read all the classics
~grow my hair out
~volunteer
~help people
~learn to meditate better
~take yoga
~get wasted
~sketch more
~Believe in myself....

Food for Thought


Say this upon arising in the morning while stretching your body:

Lord God Almighty, my Creator and Heavenly Father, as the sun from heaven shines upon and renews my body, so does the sunshine of Your great Spirit warm my mind and my soul, renewing me by the pwer of Your wondrous grace.
I am not emptying from my mind every thought, idea and memory that is not in harmony with Your goodness. I hereby drop from consciousness every selfish, evil and unworthy thought. I let go all uncharitable attitudes, every fear and every vestige of ill will and resentment. As my mind is now emptied and clean of every unhealthy thought, You are now filling it with thoughts of goodness, love and faith. Thank You, dear Lord, for I can feel at this moment Your freshening and renewing power. And it feels so wonderfully good! Thank you, thank You.

Formula for Thanksgiving

Thank You, O Creator, for my wonderful body which only You can make; for my strong heart, my good stomach, my healthy liver, for my keen eyes, my sensitive ears and my brain; all parts of my body are now serving me as well as when I was a youth. Then, Heavenly Father, thank You for that immortal part of me, my soul, which I place once again in Your keeping. I affirm my desire to serve You all the days of my life until evening falls and I enter into rest and on into eternal life, still with You whom I have loved always. Thank You for Your gracious forgiveness and for the peace of mind You are giving me every day all the way.

These are from Norman Vincent Peale's The Positive Principle Today.

Things I am Thankful for...

The unending love of my husband
good kids
being healthy
friends to share good times with
good reads
the sensual scent of flowers
loud music
rain on a sunny day
air conditioning
a good cup of coffee in the morning
a hearty laugh
cats mewing
cats purring
cats love
nature
trees, pinecones and buckeyes
soft green grass
the sound of the ocean waves
the color blue in the ocean
warm sand
4 leaf clovers
good luck charms
simple advice
spirit
being strong
simple things

I'm so happy
My favorite band, Bon Jovi was on CNN in an interview with Larry King last week. I am looking forward to sitting and watching the hour long show.I will do it this weekend, sure.

I'm so happy! I'm so happy! I finally reconciled my bank statement. It took me 4 tries, for who knows what reason. I was beginning to feel brain dead. But, now, I'm so happy!

I am getting things done these days. My legs and feet still hurt a little, or sometimes a lot, but I try not to let that get me down. We had a nice family dinner at Slim & Chubby's bar/restaurant last night. Mike's face was hurting and I tried some of my reflexology on his hands and viola!! it worked!! to some degree anyways. I wish I could heal him of his aches and pains. It's not happening for not trying though. I study ways to help him and try all sorts of things. I will heal my love, once and for all, I know it. It's just taking some time.

I sold my first item/book on ebay yesterday. I was so happy! I feel that this is something I can do, and its really not that hard. It took quite a bit longer than I anticipated to list, photograph, and figure out the shipping and handling though. The next auction will be faster and better than the last. I have a positive attitude towards learning new things and making myself better for it. That's all!

Emerging Sideways


My life is emerging sideways these days. I am slowly getting things done that I want to and I feel more accomplished. Of course it is not as fast or easy as I anticipated. Everyday I have this sun-dappled serenity hovering over me and I feel at rest when the day starts...and then the day goes on and then it's Tuesday Morning again. This & that to work on and chauffer the kids to here and there daily takes a lot of perserverance. I love doing these things for them. Like picking up my oldest son from work when he has an hour break for lunch. We went to Penn Station subs and we sat and talked. It's great!
I feel like I have library overload also. Every time I go to the library I say to myself, "I'm just passing through..." and then I come out with an armload of wonderful, enchanting, whimsical, mind blowing, desire for success, have a little faith in me kind of books. And every once in a while a book that looks like a good read and turns out to be too weird for my way of thinking. Unbelievably I got two books lately and read the first chapter of two and said to myself, I cant follow this, and took it back for some other person with an open mind and curious eye to take out. I love unabashedly happy endings or something that is close to my heart.
This morning I literally had to talk my son, Justin into going to Football practice because he didnt want to go due to the fact that his crank to his bike fell off yesterday while riding it and subsequently, he fell off & onto the curb of the road. Thus big bump on his shoulder, hurt shin and thumb. Unbelievably I was able to talk him into going and he was better off for it. I guess he decided that I was right and that he needed to show up and show that he was part of the team. Yipee for me! Now I am off to take care of Justin's bee sting by his eye thathe got while riding home from his friends.by his eye.

JOURNEY INTO HEALING - AWAKENING THE WISDOM WITHIN YOU

By Deepak Chopra, M.D.

In this volume, essential ideas from the work of Deepak Chopra, M.D. are arranged to create a transcendent experience for the reader, a journey into healing. Along the path, we discover that we think and feel can actually change our biology. We learn to seek that place inside ourselves that is at one with the infinite intelligence of the universe, the source of life. By the end of this book the readers consciousness will have been altered by the experience of the journey itself. Such change has the power to transform our lives, to grace us with the gifts of lasting peace and perfect health. The final pages of this book contain techniques for the Mindfulness Meditation, which can access the silent space between your thoughts and tap into the inner wisdom that will make all your dreams come true.

Perfect health, pure and invincible, is a state we have lost. Regain it, and we regain a world.

Health is an inner joyfulness that should be ours all the time- a state of positive well-being.

The healing mechanism inside us perfectly matches the one outside. The human body does not look like the green meadow, but its breezes, its laughing water, sunlight, and earth were merely transformed into us, not forgotten.

We all need to be healed in the highest sence by making ourselves perfect in mind, body, and spirit. The first step is to realize that this is even possible.

Although our package of skin and bones looks very convincing, it is a mask, an illusion, disguising our true self, which has no limitations.

There are some things that require no work, and healing is one of them. You don't have to work to achieve a silent mind; you don't have to work to find the old wounds. All these things are a given, once they are uncovered. The uncovering begins wherever you are now, but its goal is always the same - the revelation of wholeness that unites body, mind, and spirit as one.

Matter is a captive moment in space and time, and by seeing our world and the universe materialistically, we make the captive aspects of the universe assume too much importance.

Any pain or disease we have is like an island of discomfort, for in cpmparison to any one disease, our healty awareness is as big as an ocean.

Before the art of medicine comes the art of belief. To have a renewed body, you must be willing to have new perceptions that give rise to new solutions. We are the only creatures on earth who can change our biology by what we think and feel. We perceive, which means we add meaning to every signal coming our way. Perception is the first and most important step in turning the raw data of the universe into realtity. Everything we see, touch, hear, taste, or smell has been selected from the infinite reservoir of vibrating energy in the field.

You believe that you live in the world, when in fact the world lives within you.

Reality exists because we agree to it. Whenever reality shifts, the agreement has been changed. The point that Archimedes was looking for - a place to stand on and move the world - actually exists. It is inside us, covered up by the fascinating but misleading moving-picture show of the waking state.
We all create scenarios and them become convinced by them, down to our very cells.

Our normal waking-state perception of ourselves is usually ill-equipped to realize how much joy exists inside us.

No one has ever found a new world by worrying about it.

Instead of consciously creating disease, we could be consciously creating health. **

When you realize that you have control over any interpretation you place upon your body, and enormously liberating idea begins to dawn; the body is on your side.

We all have the power to make reality. Why make it inside boundaries when the boundless is so near?

My hard belief that life is merciless, like a mill wheel impartially grinding out birth and death, is gone. To see things that way is to accept the appearance and miss the essence. Come closer, and the world looks much more like a wish, a great desire coming true all around us, with our own wishes and desires woven into it.

Once you agree that your self is intelligent, then all creating is within your grasp through the principle of self-referral; "Curving back within myself, I create again and again," as the Bhagavad Gita says.

Impulses of intelligence create your body in new forms every second. What you are is the sum total of these impulses, and by changing their patterns, you will change.

Where Nature goes to create stars, galaxies, quarks, and leptons, you and I go to create ourselves.

The body is not a frozen sculpture. It is a river of information - a flowing organism empowered by millions of years of intelligence. Every second of our existence, we are creating a new body. Just one year ago, 98 percent of the atoms in our bodies were not there. It's as if we live inside buildings whose bricks are being systematically taken out and replaced.
A body that can "think" is far different from the one medicine now treats. For one thing, it knows what is happening to it, not just through the brain, but everywhere there is a receptor for messenger milecules, which means within every cell.
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When you say, "I have a gut feeling about such and such," you're not speaking literally, because your gut makes the same chemicals as your brain when it things.

Any cell, tissue, organ is capable of crying out for attention, and when you give it some, the healing process begins. We have a pharmacy inside us that is absolutely exquisite. It makes the right medicine, for the precise time, for the right target organ -with no side effects.

The human body keeps in balance through complex rhythems and cycles. These biorhythms are our connecting link to the larger rhythems of Nature; the immensely long life cycles of the stars, the ebb and flow of the earth's seas, and the breathing of all living things. When you are truly in tune with your body, it becomes a trusted teacher and a trusted guide.

Your mind gives you control, the ability to have any reaction you want.

The highest level of belief comes when the mind contacts its own intelligence as an experience.

When the mind is peaceful, inner energies wake up and work miracles for us - without any conscious effort on our part.

In Siddhartha, Hermann Hesse writes, "Within you there is a stillness and sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself." This sanctuary is a simple awareness of comfort, which cant be violated by the turmoil of events. This place feels no trauma and stores no hurt. It is the healing mental space that one seeks to find in meditation.

A quiet mind is all you need.

Because we can change like quicksilver, the flowing quality of life is natural to us. The material body is a river of atoms, the mind is a river of thought, and what holds them together is a river of intelligence.

We are not the body. We are not the mind. We are the ones who have mind and body. When we touch a new level of consciousness, a new world is created. Consciousness is nothing but awareness- the composite of all the things we pay attention to.

An old Indian saying goes, "If you want to see what your thoughts were like yesterday, look at your body today. If you want to see what your body will be like tomorrow, look at your thoughts today."

Our pure awareness is already whole, already healed. If we feel divided inside, the solution is to bring ourselves back to wholeness. Consciousness is its own healer.

In moments of silence, realize that you are recontacting your source of pure awareness.

Being alive is like a wave pulsing upward from the invisible to the visible, from a region the senses cannot register to one that they can. The closer you can get to the invisible source, the greater your healing power.

All that is needed is to reach the depts where transformation is effortless and most powerful. Our servants wait on us, but they wait inside.

A shift in awareness is the first change.

Getting well does not need struggle. There is no enemy within. Recovery lies only at the level of Being. If the nervous system were purified of stress, then it would only express Being, which is always life-supporting because its nature is bliss.

Being is deep, clear, permanent, ever the same. To experience bliss every hour of the day would be a sign of complete enlightenment, but even a brief encounter is significant- it permits you to actually feel waves of consciousness as they well up from the field of silence, cross the gap, and are infused into every cell. This is the body's own awakening.

The use of love is to heal. When it flows without effort from the depth of the self, love creates health.

All fear is ultimately the fear of mortality in disguise - the fear of change.

When you resist the flow of life, you are actually resisting your own inner nature, for everything that happens to us is a reflection of who we are.

Quietly, in your own heart, say that you do not want to be afraid.

Intentions automatically seek their fulfillment if left alone.

Accept what comes to you totally and completely so that you can appreciate it, learn frin ut, and then let it go.
Complete healing depends upon our ability to stop struggling.

One's inner sense of "me" is built up of images from the past, all the fears, hopes, wishes, dreams, love, and disappointments one calls "mine." However, if you strip all these images away, something of "me" is still left; the decision maker, the screen, the silent witness.

You dont have to do anything to find the Self- you have to stop doing anything.
When you get in touch with the part of yourself that is eternal and nonchanging, you have true knowledge of your own immortality, and fear melts away like snow in the summer breeze.

To be one with Nature again is vital - it allows inner and outer nature to blend, healing a separation that never existed in the first place.

Nature balances the mind, body and spirit as cocreators of our personal reality.

The blueprint for perfect health is inside you. It IS you.

We are all different because we've walked through different gardens and knelt at different graves. Every little wisp of experience that has come our way we have metabolized and made into our body. And as we now go into higher states of awareness, we metabolize those experiences too. They also store the knowledge of higher realitites complete and formed, and they are ready for you to unfold them.

Walk in the sunlight every day for at least a few minutes it takes you to remind yourself that the universe is our real timekeeper.

The deepest reality you are aware of is the one from which you draw your power.

Lasting healing and lasting peace are real only at the level of our Being.

Healthy people live neigher in the past nor in the future. They live in the present, in the now, which gives the now a flavor of eternity because no shadows fall across it.

I believe in the goodness of my physician. He told me that the purpose of life is to be happy and to receive wise and happy thoughts from every part of the universe.

If I find a green meadow spashed with daisies and sit down beside a clear-running brook, I have found medicine.

As long as the flow of change within us is fresh, we will be perfectly healthy.

Enchantment is our natural state.

This day cannot last without you to keep it alive. Will you give it a chance?

Learning to Draw

I am learning to draw.

Chapter One: Drawing, Kick-starting your creativity and leaning to see.
Tonight I drew a chair, a mug, my son, and a table. I am teaching myself to slow down and "see" what I am drawing.
The book is "The Creative License, Giving yourself permission to be the artist you truly are" by Danny Gregory, Author of Everyday Matters.
I did the first lesson and said to myself "ok, this is good, I did ok, and I had fun doing it. I am a pretty good artist."
I will work toward clarity. As I become clearer, my life will change. I will become happier. I will meet new people and strengthen the connections with the people I know. I will subdue many of my fears. I will find work that I love and have many opportunities rain down on me.

"I believe in the energy of art, and through the use of that energy, the artist's ability to transform his or her life and, by example, the lives of others."
-Audrey Flack

The book says that: You can't supress your creative urge. Don't take it lying down. Our goat must be to channel that energy in a positive direction, to create happiness, appreciation, celebration, and joy instead. How? By living in the Now. By seeing the beauty of what is- by choosing to make something special out of the way you fold your laundry, letter a shopping list, clean your plate, Celebrate your life now, as it unfolds. See your destiny, see what you already have. Create connections and conversations- make friends. Put a frame around your lunch. Put a spotlight in your toothbrush. Put a memory on a pedestal. Sieze each day is it dawns and make more of it. Soon, like the trees out my window, you'll find you can't help it.

This day is full of extraordinary things that I am missing. Wonderful sights, like the sun on the counterpane, the hairs on the cat's tail, the cracks in the paint on the radiator, the leaves piling up against the curb. Wonderful smells, wonderful sounds. Wonderful people. Wonderful opportunities. Today is wonderful!

Sunrise


Morning has broken,
a slow firey sunrise...
Quietness.
A beautiful tangerine in the sky
warming up the morning sky
lighting the way to start my day.
Garden vegetables growing in the warm ground
waiting to be picked
and eaten
by my kids.
Traffic passing by in a hurry
going to who knows where.
People smiling, people rushing.
Birds singing and cats slowly waking up
with the tangerine in the sky.

I have relatives here and they are draining me at the moment. I just need some time to regroup and have some solitude. My head is big and not feeling well. A short nap will heal me and I will feel better. Time for my nap.

Life is a mystery


Life is a mystery to be lived, not solved.

I need to remember this saying and apply it to my everyday life. I am trying so hard to live in the moment and not worry about everything that (I think) has to be done. After all, it doesn't ALL have to be done and certainly not today. Our kids will not be here with us forever. I will live in the moment....

I enjoy spending alone time with each one of our boys. It give me a change to get to know them as the individual that they are growing into. Each special personality is a treasure and time cannot be replaced. For a short time I can "Be one" with each of them.

Spending time with my husband Mike is precious. He is a truely a good man. He listens to me with unconditional love. He is my true love.

True love is full of grace and is unconditional: it keeps on loving regardless of what condition the loved one is in. At least I found that to be so, in being married to my Husband.
True love cheers me on when I keep fighting my lifelong battle, and it never turns around and walks away, leaving me to fight alone.
True love compliments me when I'm making progress but doesn't blame me when I'm not. True love hangs in there with me, regardless of what condition I'm in on any given day, physically, emotionally or spiritually.

With this being said: i need to learn the art and craft of balancing my life. I know I am loved by my family and would like to be able to "live in the moment". My simple and uncluttered life with all my responsibilities as a Mom. Wow! I love it!

The waiting game....


Last night I prayed and sent my guardian angel to be with my nephew, Danny at court this morning. His hearing was early this morning and it didnt look good for him.

I have been reading a book entitled Angels Among Us and it has several short stories of how our guardian angels are there for us when we need them. My prayers were answered when I got the phone call from Dan this morning telling me that Danny was at home.

I know of many instances when I asked my angel to help and she came through. This morning I knew Danny would need all the help he could get so I sent my guardian angel to be with him and protect him. I was not really that worried of the outcome because I had the feeling that everything would be alright. I was certainly right.

I knew today would be a waiting game. I had to wait to see if my son would be working with my brother, and if he did I would be taking him there and picking him up. As it turned out, around noon the phone rang and it was too late to start work, so he is set up for work tomorrow. Hockey was cancelled too. So.. the whole day could have been a day where I could have went somewhere with the other two kids but it turned out differently. I did get to get some good photos of David and Justin as they were bike riding in the front yard this morning. Another fun thing that I did was wood burn our address in a nice log of wood. I'd like to hang it in the front tree or on the front porch light. I will need to decide.
This afternoon I pulled up some more carpet and cleaned the hardwood floor. It looks nice on this part of the bedroom floor. Hopefully the rest will turn out just as nice.