We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.
~ Anais Nin
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Words to live by
Keeping it simple and living life. These resonate in my mind. They are what i strive for.
Simply put... family, friends, love.
I have all three. I love my family with all my heart. The love of my life makes me happy. I have loving children that are a joy. I have parents, sister and brothers that fulfill my longing for family. I am happy!
* * *
I believe these words were written by Robert Louis Stevenson. There is something in them for all of us:
Make up your mind to be happy.
Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
Make the best of circumstances. No one has everything and everyone has something of sorrow.
Don't take yourself too seriously.
Don't let criticism worry you. You can't please everybody.
Don't let your neighbors set your standards; be yourself.
Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than actual ones.
Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities and grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about places.
Don't hold post-mortems or spend time brooding over sorrows and mistakes.
Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
Keep busy at something. A very busy person never has time to be unhappy.
I believe they were written by Robert Louis Stevenson. There is something in them for all of us:
Make up your mind to be happy.
Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
Make the best of circumstances. No one has everything and everyone has something of sorrow.
Don't take yourself too seriously.
Don't let criticism worry you. You can't please everybody.
Don't let your neighbors set your standards; be yourself.
Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than actual ones.
Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities and grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about places.
Don't hold post-mortems or spend time brooding over sorrows and mistakes.
Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
Keep busy at something. A very busy person never has time to be unhappy.
Simply put... family, friends, love.
I have all three. I love my family with all my heart. The love of my life makes me happy. I have loving children that are a joy. I have parents, sister and brothers that fulfill my longing for family. I am happy!
* * *
I believe these words were written by Robert Louis Stevenson. There is something in them for all of us:
Make up your mind to be happy.
Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
Make the best of circumstances. No one has everything and everyone has something of sorrow.
Don't take yourself too seriously.
Don't let criticism worry you. You can't please everybody.
Don't let your neighbors set your standards; be yourself.
Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than actual ones.
Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities and grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about places.
Don't hold post-mortems or spend time brooding over sorrows and mistakes.
Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
Keep busy at something. A very busy person never has time to be unhappy.
I believe they were written by Robert Louis Stevenson. There is something in them for all of us:
Make up your mind to be happy.
Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
Make the best of circumstances. No one has everything and everyone has something of sorrow.
Don't take yourself too seriously.
Don't let criticism worry you. You can't please everybody.
Don't let your neighbors set your standards; be yourself.
Do things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than actual ones.
Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities and grudges. Avoid people who make you unhappy.
Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about places.
Don't hold post-mortems or spend time brooding over sorrows and mistakes.
Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
Keep busy at something. A very busy person never has time to be unhappy.
Friday, October 09, 2009
Things will turn out ok
The best advice was from myself: There's not one right way to do things. The people who are the most judgmental are the ones who aren't comfortable with the choices they've made. I've come to learn this, and it makes me a less judgmental person on a day-to-day basis. And I like that. Even my friends have a big expanse of views.
Our guilt comes from inflated expectations. Every day, at least in our own heads, we fall short of the goals that we've set for ourselves. And that makes us feel bad. Each day we wake up, run around all day, & then go to sleep with an endless litany of shouldas, wouldas, couldas, and have-to's. As a result we live in our shortcomings, in a state of constant regret. So... do what we do and keep up the best we can and stop regretting. My house is in an ok order and thats all there is to it.
Our guilt comes from inflated expectations. Every day, at least in our own heads, we fall short of the goals that we've set for ourselves. And that makes us feel bad. Each day we wake up, run around all day, & then go to sleep with an endless litany of shouldas, wouldas, couldas, and have-to's. As a result we live in our shortcomings, in a state of constant regret. So... do what we do and keep up the best we can and stop regretting. My house is in an ok order and thats all there is to it.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
The Happiness Project
This is from The Happiness-Project. I just found it and was interested in what was being said. Good stuff!
Twelve Personal Commandments
* Be Gretchen. (Be Yourself)
* Let it go.
* Act the way I want to feel.
* Do it now.
* Be polite and be fair.
* Enjoy the process.
* Spend out.
* Identify the problem.
* Lighten up.
* Do what ought to be done.
* No calculation.
* There is only love.
Secret to Happiness? Don't Get Organized./
I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.
One of my favorite things to do is to help my friends clear their clutter. It’s less emotionally taxing than clearing my own clutter, plus I don’t have any delicious, horrible piles left to tackle (okay, maybe I do have one messy pile of shirts in my closet). As a consequence, I’ve seen a lot of clutter and heard lots of people talk about their thoughts about clutter. And I’ve reached an important conclusion:
Don’t get organized./
When you’re facing a desk swamped in papers, or a closet bursting with clothes, or counter-tops littered with piles of random objects, don’t say to yourself, “I need to get organized.” Your first instinct should be to get rid of stuff. If you don’t keep it, you don’t have to organize it.
A huge amount of clutter is the result of keeping things you don’t use. “Well, I don’t have that problem,” you might think. “Why would I bother to keep something I don’t use?” But it’s easier than you think for this stuff to accumulate.
In fact, there are a surprising number of reasons to hang on to something you don’t use. Maybe you used this object in the past, and it has sentimental value – your ten-year-old’s old sippy cup. Maybe you wish you used this object, even though you never do – a set of hand-weights. Maybe you want to pretend you live a life where this object would be useful – linen cocktail napkins. Maybe you’ve never used this thing, and you feel guilty about having wasted the money buying it – a bottle of decoupage glue. (All items that I held onto for years, without using, by the way.)
It can be painful to admit that you aren’t going to use certain possessions, but all that junk just gets in your way. Be honest with yourself.
When I’m helping people clear clutter, they often say, “I refuse to give that up! It’s got too much sentimental value to throw away.” I’m a big believer in keeping things for sentimental reasons, but it helps to admit that that’s what you’re doing and to act accordingly.
For example, a friend was keeping a huge pile of t-shirts she loved in college, but no longer wore. She wanted to buy a special set of plastic shelves to put in her closet to organize them.
Instead, I asked her, “Do you need to keep all these t-shirts, or can you pick a few to jog your memory?” With some coaxing, she got rid of most of them. Once she was down to two t-shirts, I asked her, “Do you actually wear these t-shirts?” She didn’t, so we moved them out of the precious real estate of her closet and stuck them on the top shelf of little-used closet.
People also say, “No, I’ve never used that, but maybe I will! It might come in handy!” Maybe it will – or maybe it won’t. Ask yourself: how easy would it be to replace this item? Have I ever used it? What else in my life would have to change for me to use this?
For example, my sister had huge amounts of paper clutter, and when we started going through it, I saw that she was hanging on to all sorts of statements and receipts. She wanted to buy a file box to file it all away neatly, but I disagreed. “You should just throw these papers away,” I said, “why do you them at all?” “Maybe I’ll need them,” she objected. But she’d never needed them in the past, and it wouldn’t have been hard to get copies, if she would ever need them. So we tossed all of it. Much easier than organizing it!
No surprise, I’ve noticed that it’s the people with the worst clutter problems who have the instinct to run to a store and buy complicated hangers, drawer compartments, etc. I love and use that stuff, too, but now I never let myself buy an item until it’s absolutely clear that it will help me put objects in order that are truly necessary – rather than act as a crutch to move clutter around or to jam more clutter into place.
So the next time you have the urge to get organized, and especially if you feel tempted to buy organizing doodads, first push yourself to throw away or give away the things you don’t actually use. (Here are 27 bonus tips for keeping your house in order.) You may find yourself left with nothing to organize.
Have you ever realized that you’ve been hanging on to something that you didn’t use? Why were you keeping it?
Eighteen Tips that Aren't, It Turns Out, From a Churchyard.
Graveyard
I was over at a friend’s house – for a meeting of one of my two children’s literature reading groups, in fact – where I saw her framed copy of “Desiderata.” (“Desiderata” is a Latin word meaning “things to be desired.”) I’d seen it before, but I’d never read more than the first few lines, and I was struck by the soundness of the suggestions.
I always thought Desiderata was an inscription in an old churchyard, but it was actually written by Max Ehrmann in 1927. This bit of information detracts from its mystique somewhat, but it's still an interesting list.
1. Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.
2. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
3. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
4. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; for they are vexations to the spirit.
5. If you compare yourself with others you may become bitter or vain, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
6. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
7. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
8. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery; but let this not blind you to what virtue there is.
9. Be yourself. [There it is, yet again, my First Commandment: Be Gretchen]
10. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
11. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
12. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune, but do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
13. Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself.
14. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here, and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
15. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
16. And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, be at peace with your soul. With all its shame, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
17. Be cheerful.
18. Strive to be happy.
My favorite is #18. You can’t always be happy, but you can strive to be happy. And it's not selfish to strive to be happy -- that's Happiness Myth No. 10. Remember the Second Splendid Truth!
Speaking of inscriptions found (or not) in churchyards, here’s my own favorite gravestone inscription:
Remember, friends, as you pass by,
As you are now so once was I.
As I am now, so you must be.
Prepare yourself to follow me.
Which item do you find most important in your own life?
I like no 18 too.
As is pointed out, somethings are "Choices"
Happiness is something we can choose and practice.
Same goes for other traits we want to cultivate,
Gentleness, Good Humor, Humility...
the list could be very long,
thats great stuff GR!
Twelve Personal Commandments
* Be Gretchen. (Be Yourself)
* Let it go.
* Act the way I want to feel.
* Do it now.
* Be polite and be fair.
* Enjoy the process.
* Spend out.
* Identify the problem.
* Lighten up.
* Do what ought to be done.
* No calculation.
* There is only love.
Secret to Happiness? Don't Get Organized./
I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.
One of my favorite things to do is to help my friends clear their clutter. It’s less emotionally taxing than clearing my own clutter, plus I don’t have any delicious, horrible piles left to tackle (okay, maybe I do have one messy pile of shirts in my closet). As a consequence, I’ve seen a lot of clutter and heard lots of people talk about their thoughts about clutter. And I’ve reached an important conclusion:
Don’t get organized./
When you’re facing a desk swamped in papers, or a closet bursting with clothes, or counter-tops littered with piles of random objects, don’t say to yourself, “I need to get organized.” Your first instinct should be to get rid of stuff. If you don’t keep it, you don’t have to organize it.
A huge amount of clutter is the result of keeping things you don’t use. “Well, I don’t have that problem,” you might think. “Why would I bother to keep something I don’t use?” But it’s easier than you think for this stuff to accumulate.
In fact, there are a surprising number of reasons to hang on to something you don’t use. Maybe you used this object in the past, and it has sentimental value – your ten-year-old’s old sippy cup. Maybe you wish you used this object, even though you never do – a set of hand-weights. Maybe you want to pretend you live a life where this object would be useful – linen cocktail napkins. Maybe you’ve never used this thing, and you feel guilty about having wasted the money buying it – a bottle of decoupage glue. (All items that I held onto for years, without using, by the way.)
It can be painful to admit that you aren’t going to use certain possessions, but all that junk just gets in your way. Be honest with yourself.
When I’m helping people clear clutter, they often say, “I refuse to give that up! It’s got too much sentimental value to throw away.” I’m a big believer in keeping things for sentimental reasons, but it helps to admit that that’s what you’re doing and to act accordingly.
For example, a friend was keeping a huge pile of t-shirts she loved in college, but no longer wore. She wanted to buy a special set of plastic shelves to put in her closet to organize them.
Instead, I asked her, “Do you need to keep all these t-shirts, or can you pick a few to jog your memory?” With some coaxing, she got rid of most of them. Once she was down to two t-shirts, I asked her, “Do you actually wear these t-shirts?” She didn’t, so we moved them out of the precious real estate of her closet and stuck them on the top shelf of little-used closet.
People also say, “No, I’ve never used that, but maybe I will! It might come in handy!” Maybe it will – or maybe it won’t. Ask yourself: how easy would it be to replace this item? Have I ever used it? What else in my life would have to change for me to use this?
For example, my sister had huge amounts of paper clutter, and when we started going through it, I saw that she was hanging on to all sorts of statements and receipts. She wanted to buy a file box to file it all away neatly, but I disagreed. “You should just throw these papers away,” I said, “why do you them at all?” “Maybe I’ll need them,” she objected. But she’d never needed them in the past, and it wouldn’t have been hard to get copies, if she would ever need them. So we tossed all of it. Much easier than organizing it!
No surprise, I’ve noticed that it’s the people with the worst clutter problems who have the instinct to run to a store and buy complicated hangers, drawer compartments, etc. I love and use that stuff, too, but now I never let myself buy an item until it’s absolutely clear that it will help me put objects in order that are truly necessary – rather than act as a crutch to move clutter around or to jam more clutter into place.
So the next time you have the urge to get organized, and especially if you feel tempted to buy organizing doodads, first push yourself to throw away or give away the things you don’t actually use. (Here are 27 bonus tips for keeping your house in order.) You may find yourself left with nothing to organize.
Have you ever realized that you’ve been hanging on to something that you didn’t use? Why were you keeping it?
Eighteen Tips that Aren't, It Turns Out, From a Churchyard.
Graveyard
I was over at a friend’s house – for a meeting of one of my two children’s literature reading groups, in fact – where I saw her framed copy of “Desiderata.” (“Desiderata” is a Latin word meaning “things to be desired.”) I’d seen it before, but I’d never read more than the first few lines, and I was struck by the soundness of the suggestions.
I always thought Desiderata was an inscription in an old churchyard, but it was actually written by Max Ehrmann in 1927. This bit of information detracts from its mystique somewhat, but it's still an interesting list.
1. Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.
2. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
3. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
4. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; for they are vexations to the spirit.
5. If you compare yourself with others you may become bitter or vain, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
6. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
7. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
8. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery; but let this not blind you to what virtue there is.
9. Be yourself. [There it is, yet again, my First Commandment: Be Gretchen]
10. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.
11. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
12. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune, but do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
13. Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself.
14. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here, and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
15. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
16. And whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, be at peace with your soul. With all its shame, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
17. Be cheerful.
18. Strive to be happy.
My favorite is #18. You can’t always be happy, but you can strive to be happy. And it's not selfish to strive to be happy -- that's Happiness Myth No. 10. Remember the Second Splendid Truth!
Speaking of inscriptions found (or not) in churchyards, here’s my own favorite gravestone inscription:
Remember, friends, as you pass by,
As you are now so once was I.
As I am now, so you must be.
Prepare yourself to follow me.
Which item do you find most important in your own life?
I like no 18 too.
As is pointed out, somethings are "Choices"
Happiness is something we can choose and practice.
Same goes for other traits we want to cultivate,
Gentleness, Good Humor, Humility...
the list could be very long,
thats great stuff GR!
Monday, October 05, 2009
Be Nice
I have decided to start de-cluttering my stuff. Already, I have cleaned out my desk area, a few boxes of old files and miscellaneous meandering notebooks. I was starting to KEEP everything that was interesting to me, and it was starting to crowd my living areas. On to being more fulfilled with less!!!
Upon my gathering of misc. meanderings and piles of pages ripped out of catalogs, I found a clip of a website about being NICE! Pretty cool! Since so much of our world revolves around sick, despicable lieing, corrupt, utterly nasty people that have no morals or common sense.
www.operationnice.com
Check it out. Be nice to someone today.
:-)
Upon my gathering of misc. meanderings and piles of pages ripped out of catalogs, I found a clip of a website about being NICE! Pretty cool! Since so much of our world revolves around sick, despicable lieing, corrupt, utterly nasty people that have no morals or common sense.
www.operationnice.com
Check it out. Be nice to someone today.
:-)
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